In Which Nicknames are Given
by SilverRose2301
Summary: Nicknames are given, Tenten's name is forgotten, Neji gets a makeover and much more! One-shot humorous Team Gai scene with a little teeny NejiXTenten because they are just plain awesome even if any character depth Tenten possesses is contrived by fans


**One-shot humorous Team Gai scene with a little NejiXTenten because they are just plain awesome even if any character depth Tenten possesses is contrived by fans!**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Naruto is sadly not mine.**

**CAUTION: THIS STORY CONTAINS PARTS WITH ABONXIOUS ITALICS AND CAPSLOCK!**

"Sensei you are looking exceptionally youthful today!" said Lee to Gai sensei one afternoon of training.

"Of course I am because I am youthful every day and I exercise," he said too loud with a huge goofy grin.

"Oh Gai sensei I wish I could be as youthful as you," Lee began to cry so Gai sensei hugged him…and then also began to cry.

Neji wondered what was for dinner, when Tenten would show up, how Sasuke could possibly have more fangirls when he has atrocious split ends and he's EVIL (but he supposed it was just destiny or fate that he had more fangirls and he could not fight it)…wondered where Tenten was. He completely ignored the annoying babbling of his teammates.

"What's wrong with them?" asked Tenten, startling Neji. Neji pretended he had totally seen her coming.

"Oh you know them, always acting like really happy-drunks. I suppose it balances out all the resident emos and drag queens," said Neji rolling his eyes.

"You being one of them but I'm not sure which," mumbled Tenten.

"Hm, did you say something?"

"Uh, just that your hair looks really sleek and shiny today Neji!"

"?" Of course she noticed his beautiful hair but he could have sworn she had said something about…

"I know! You should totally let me French braid it sometime!"

"Well it doesn't look like they're going to wrap that up anytime soon," said Neji gesturing to the sob fest now taking place in front of a sunset backdrop that had apparently fallen from the sky "Let's go in the shade and wait this out." So Tenten braided Neji's hair and then wrapped it into a perfect bun because the sobfest was still going on and she had nothing better to do. Neji didn't even notice that she had made him look like a total girl. A few guys passing by got nosebleeds from the site of the two beautiful girls sitting idly in the shade.

Neji's mind wandered off as Tenten gently fixed his hair. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He didn't even notice when his other two green clad teammates pulled themselves together and walked over to where they were sitting. Suddenly Tenten's fingers tugged at his hair forcefully and he came back to reality.

"You need cool nicknames now why you are still in your youth!" cried one of the green suited, bushy browed, bowl cut morons but which one spoke the words hardly mattered. Neji was furious that they interrupted that peaceful moment and he was sure it showed on his face but the two stayed oblivious and continued.

"You could be the… lotus flower of beauty…deadly…weapons mistress…wonder..." Neji only caught words and fragments of the conversation (with two participants but somehow one-sided). He was fuming but his anger was replaced by pain and irritation as with each word Tenten's grip tightened and tangled more in his hair. He mourned for his hair but did not dare ask her to remove her hands.

Then she snapped. She shot up (pulling out strands of Neji's hair because she forgot she had had her hands tangled in his locks) and silenced the rambling for a moment with a scream. That was it, Neji was about to yell at her for pulling out his hair when…

"You just want to give me a nickname because you can't REMEMBER MY NAME!"

"That's not true beautiful Tenten," said Lee

"Oh really, _what-is-my-last-name_?" she said each word separately and clearly, practically hissing it at the end. All three of the boys froze. For the life of them they could not recall her last name. Neji knew exactly how fast she could run, how many kunai she could throw accurately at one time, every scar or injury on her body because he had been there when she received them, her favorite color, her favorite snack and anything else that could be classified as useless Tenten trivia but he did NOT KNOW HER LAST NAME. Crap.

"Oh that is it! I am out of here!" she yelled exasperated "I heard there's a position open on Team Kakashi since chicken butt head left!"

"No Tenten anything but that! Please do not betray me for my _rival _of ALL people!" whined Gai sensei, clutching Tenten's leg. She slowly turned her head down to look at her sensei with a gleam in her eyes as she pulled out too many weapons to count. All three boys took a precautionary ten steps back. Neji was backed against a tree though due to his position. He was not sure he could dodge them all since Tenten is always at her most _accurate _and _merciless_ when she's angry. She dropped them all to the ground though and put her face in her hands turning away from the two baffled green ninjas. She sobbed uncontrollably but from Neji's position he could see she was faking. She looked up from her hands at Neji, winked and then disappeared.

After she had left and the two buffoons had recovered from their shock they attacked Neji.

"Neji your name could be the all seeing…merciless…quiet storm…emo drag queen…killer…of death and doom…grace and poise…" and that's only the parts Neji didn't block from his memory.

"TENTEN! I'M COMING WITH YOU!" Neji used substitution jutsu and watched for a moment from a nearby tree as they continued to talk…to a log…yes a log, for a good few minutes.

Neji raced through the forest with no particular destination in mind when someone fell from above and brought him to the ground. He took out a kunai but the foe pinned his arm to the ground long enough for him to realize it was just Tenten. She smiled down at him from her perch on top of his chest. He couldn't breath, she was so beautiful…and you know…she was standing on his chest. He motioned with his arms and after a minute she got the hint. He panted for a minute. Tenten helped him up and motioned for him to follow. She led him through the forest and the village back to her house and in through a third story window.

He looked around at the orderly room. It was pretty bare except for a bed in one corner, a small desk and a lot of weapons in glass cases.

"Uggg! I'm so glad to be rid of them for today. I'll bring some tea!" She stepped out of the room for a moment. Neji fidgeted for a moment (HOWLY CRAP I'M IN A GIRL'S ROOM!). He walked over to the desk and found a fuzzy pink book peaking out of a half open drawer. He knew it was snooping but he thought it might have her last name in it at least. The first page was covered in 'Tenten Hyuga' in different girly fonts. _Well that's no help_ thought Neji, throwing the book back in the drawer. After a moment of looking around the room for another clue he stopped short… _Wait, did it say…Hyuga? SOMEONE IN MY OWN CLAN! IF I EVER FIND THE SLIME BALL IN THE HYUGA CLAN WHO IS WOOING MY TENTEN I WILL MAKE SURE HE REGRETS EVER BEING BORN! _

Tenten returned with the tea but Neji didn't pay any attention to the conversation. He was busy planning his revenge on the Hyuga who had capture Tenten's heart. This was one thing he would not leave up to fate or destiny or any of _that _crap!

**Oh Neji, you moron. **

**I know: really out of character. I tried to keep them in character but when I was done and going over it I realized I had failed but it was just too funny (in my opinion) to change it. I hope you think it's as funny as I do! I would just like to thank Kivae from DeviantArt (even though I have never met her) for always making me laugh and inspiring me with her Narutard theater comics! And thanks to everyone who read my first fic (a fullmetal fic about Winry and Ed) and gave me over 200 hits! It may not seem like a lot but for me it is so don't burst my bubble!**

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JUST A "GOOD JOB"?

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